IT’S ALMOST MIDNIGHT AND THERE WAS A KNOCK AT MY DOOR SO I CAUTIOUSLY OPENED THE DOOR THEN TWO DRUNKEN GUYS SHOUTED “SURPRISE” THEN LOOKED AT ME FOR A MOMENT AND WENT “FUCK WE’RE AT THE WRONG HOUSE” AND RAN AWAY DOWN THE STREET OH MY GOD
opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples
everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant
But all you ever see are men’s
u know what feels really dumb
being scared of certain areas of your house
u live there
u are there all the time
but when it comes to like that one place it’s just like
I needed a new toilet seat so I went on ebay and searched for “toilet seat unicorn”
I’m so going to buy it.
I bet yall didn’t believe me
IM GOING TO SCREAM IM IN CLASS AND THESE GIRLS WHO BULLIED ME IN 5TH GRADE ARE WHISPERING AND THEYRE LIKE
"holy shit did she go to our elementary school"
"i dont know if thats her"
"i rly dont think thats her guys"
AND THE TEACHER CALLED MY NAME AND THEY GO
"holy shit shes hot"
L I F E
YOU FUCKING GO IM PROUD OF YOU
OWN IT FOR ALL OF US